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This Is What Justice Looks Like

my vagina monologue

By: Allison H.

MY VAGINA MONOLOGUE:

March 3rd, 2005, 6:30am.

Hopeful. Gown, IV, awaiting surgeon

Incision lines marked

him: “take a look in the bathroom, mirror”
Huh?

Gurney – wheels assuming the death march

White room, Warm betadine
He looked NERVOUS, sweating
More incision lines
Different place?

My Instincts, RUN

No, no, you’re anxious

This isn’t what we discussed?
Confused

the anesthesiologist, questioning…

SHOULD I RUN?
n a k e d
Drowsy
Can’t react
table c o l d…

Blood loss impressive

Twenty-four hours after I arrived…waking up from a stupor

him: “…I had to go further than I thought…”

what did that mean?

Profuse bleeding, UNBEARABLE PAIN!
Nurse: “You have to leave the hospital,” – they wheeled me to a cab

A week passed…

as I try to stand, my labia feels as if they’re about to burst –
barbed wire rushing through my groin

blood spewing down my legs from my groin,
the white carpet, now a wet red hue

have to use the toilet
Can’t squat!
“Gird your loins!” I say to myself

It’s like gymnastics I tell myself – Pommel Horse
hold yourself up with your arms

Shit!

SANITIZE

Cope!

Eight days later…
my mom’s knees begin to buckle as she attempts to change my dressings, blood soaked chucks

“YOUR VAGINA LOOKS…
AS IF IT’S BEEN RAVISHED BY A PITBULL!”

“Mom, don’t faint, I can’t hold you…”

Ice Storm outside

“Emergency…”

i need an Ambulance

“Miss, you need to return to your surgeon, he needs to fix this”

he can’t… HE CAN’T FIND THE VIDEOTAPE!

Vagina Mutilated

Another statistic.
Countless women in America are assaulted and violated.
We live in a nation where doctors destroy health; lawyers destroy justice with little or no impunity.
How much is my vagina WORTH?

© Allison Yusefa Hugh

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