I suffered all aspects of domestic abuse by my ex husband; emotional, mental, sexual, physical violence, driving dangerously, financial, stopped me working and he continuously self harmed in front of us covered in his blood, A&E witnessed him self harming as did a police officer. The police arrested him as he strangled me and there were visible marks around my neck, gave him a caution for assault which he accepted. Social Services found him to be unsafe to live with a child. His harassment took many forms; directly, online, via third parties. His stalks in various ways; directly, online, even through a domestic violence forum. Despite his caution for assault and much evidence kept in various places for safe keeping he denies his violence and abuse.
I blessed to have wonderful loving support I have received love, kindness and amazing generosity from Women’s Refuge UK, Rape Crisis UK and my domestic violence officer.
It takes immense strength to live with an abusive partner, also to escape an abuser. I have been blessed to meet and be supported by many amazing women who are extremely strong, resourceful and had enormous courage to escape domestic violence/abuse.
Domestic violence/abuse causes devastation to families and communities. Our society in the UK still maintains the silence, minimises and blames the survivor for the perpetrators abuse. Our society must STOP turning a blind eye to domestic violence/abuse. My experiences are an everyday occurrence and domestic violence/abuse is on the rise.
Our society need to provide more support for women to leave safely and stronger laws to stop the harassment. Healthier structures need to be in place to help the healing and recovery from domestic violence/abuse.
I do not feel shame or guilt for surviving domestic violence/abuse.
The shame and guilt completely belongs to the perpetrator my ex husband.
There is NO EXCUSE for his violence and abuse.
My vision for justice is the perpetrators to be held totally accountable to all forms of domestic violence/abuse and be prosecuted for ALL form of domestic violence/abuse; emotional, mental, sexual, financial and physical violence.